I will be continuing school since I’m too young to open up a business. And I’m afraid I’m not yet ready to handle the responsibility of being an entrepreneur. My business might end up in bankruptcy because I am inexperienced.

But if I’m going to go back to school, there has to be some changes for my own convenience. There’s also a possibility that I would be transferring schools (again). The problem with my current school is that the classrooms are on the 3rd floor. By the time I get to my classroom, I’m already exhausted. I might transfer to ABE’s sister school, AMACC. I hate transferring because I have to adjust to  new environment again and not to mention, I will be a 1st year student again. If I’m going to transfer, I’m going to miss my ABE friends. I’m gonna miss them badly.

I don’t want to study at a school where my siblings used to study. Why? Because people sometimes expect you to be a carbon copy of your siblings and they tend to compare you with your siblings. It’s like I don’t have my own identity because they would associate my name with my sibling’s name like ‘oh she’s the sister of blah-blah’. That’s the same as ‘the back-up dancer of a famous celebrity’, people want to be friends with you not because of who you are but because you’re a back-up dancer of a famous celebrity. In Filipino, sabit ka lang sa pangalan nila. I hope you all get what I mean.

I don’t want to study in AMACC because that’s where my brother used to study. He’s intelligent and he’s also friendly that’s why a lot of people knows him. You see, I’m not that intelligent, I’m just diligent. I’m afraid that the teachers would expect too much from me. I’m also not that friendly. I only have a few friends. Quality of a friendship is more important to me than having a lot of friends but only a few of them are for real.

If I’m going to continue studying, my dad should hire a driver who would drive me to school and fetch me after my classes.

I’m still having second thoughts about all these. Well, you know what they say, nothing is certain until the contract is signed.

I went to the hospital last Monday night because I was feeling so exhausted and I felt light-headed. huhu. I had a CBC. Ouchie. The results were not that good. My hemoglobin and hematocrit was not normal. I was supposed to be confined but since there’s no available private room, the doctor just prescribed some medicines and told me to take a rest. He also adviced that we should consult a cardiologist.

The next day, I didn’t attend my classes and my mom called our school dean so that I would be excused from my classes. I went to a cardiologist. He’s my father’s doctor. Since I was still the 15th patient on the list, I have to wait for a long time before it’s my turn. He prescribed some medicines. He said that I needed phlebotomy because my blood is concentrated. I have too many red blood cells. I cannot donate blood. I need to have phlebotomy every 2-3 months. I’m scared. I have a high pulmonary pressure. He said that Viagra is proven to lessen the pulmonary pressure but he didn’t prescribe that to me because it might cause some side effects if I would be taking it for a long time. I just laughed at the thought of taking up Viagra. Ewwww, no way. lol.

Now I feel so stressed more than ever. I still haven’t finished my research paper and business plan. I still have exams on Thursday and Friday. And then I will have my phlebo next week. I’m not so sure if I would still be studying next school year. I can’t take it anymore.